My Mother

My dear Mother Kasturi Baliga is no more but her thoughts and guidance will be with us throughout.

I am the eldest of the four children of hers. We were named Meenakshi, Prashant,Premila or Vasuda and Sharmila. I was actually named Priya but since my father was posted in Madurai just after I was born and the eldest in the family be it a boy or girl was named Meenakshi after the goddess there my name was changed to Meenakshi. She had four children in the span of four years. Imagine the trouble she would have had in bringing up such small children in a nuclear family with no major help except a maid who would do small household chores like washing vessels and cleaning the house. My father was travelling a lot because of his job and most of the time our mother used to take care of us all alone. She used to be irritated because of that and at that age we would not understand as to why she was behaving like that.

She was efficient and hard working lady who would give importance to her children and their education at the cost of her own socialising and entertainment. She devoted all her life for us four kids with all selflessness and dedication which is a rarity in this age and time. She stressed on the moral values in us as well as god fearing nature. Our behaviour was noticed by her at all times even when she was busy in her own chores of cooking etc. Sometimes I used to wonder how she could manage to do all that. But now that I am a mother myself though of only child I could well imagine how she could do so much. She would admonish us if we went away even slightly from the accepted normal behaviour of hers. So we would never dare to hurt her in any way.
She was brilliant in her own way in academics too though she was not educated much. She was educated till the sslc(class 10 level). But she had good knowledge of astrology and vedic studies. She used to guide us in our studies when we were kids till about her class 7 level. I have never ever seen her lying down because of any sickness.
I remember the variety of snacks she used to prepare during janmashtami and diwali single handedly with all pleasure and no hint of tiredness and boredom. I salute her for that. No outside food was avaliable during those days for festivals and father insisted on home made sweets and snacks and especially made by mother as she was a wonderful cook. She used to make variety of pickles without using mixies even idli batter was ground manually and the taste was superb so to say. As I grew up I started helping her around in the grinding part but not much. She was good at music too. She used to teach us malayalam alphabets during summer vacation and also some bhajans and shlokas of God because of which I can read malayalam language today and also understand most of the words if not all!!
Thanks to her for that.
Though my father was from Karnataka we could not get the advantage of learning Kannada alphabet though I wanted tolearn it as he did not have much time and interest to spend time with us for that purpose. My mother learnt that language on her own while she was there in Mangalore for around 9 months for my younger sister's birth. That is creditable indeed She had mastered Konkani(our mother tongue), Malayalam as she was brought up in Kerala, Hindi her third language in Kerala and English her second language as well as Kannada. That too with us small kids. She could have achieved much if she was more educated and got more opportunities.
She was ambitious in a way. Though she could not achieve much academically in her life she wanted us to be academically sound and prosper in life. She did everything in her capacity to make us get good education. She never stopped us from buying extra books or getting magazines which increases our knowledge.
Apart from that she would singlehandedly serve the guests who would pour in off and on with full dedication and care at the same time seeing to it that all her children are well taken care of.
I was married off at the age of 25 years and she was the happiest for me. I never thought that anything will happen to her. Even the thought of my parents death would bring tears into my eyes. I was imagining my parents playing with their grandchildren and relaxing and seeing them grow in front of their eyes. My mother took good care of me during my pregnance as it was a custom to have a first born in the maternal house Shewould see that I had proper diet and nutrition She would accompany me to all my visits to doctors and diagnostic centres. When my daughter was born she was by my side day and night taking care of her while I used to sleep because of medication. This was in October 1994. My sister Vasuda was also supposed to get married in December 1994 the same year. My mother was very happy for both of us. But in Mid November she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer which had to be operated toavoid complications. It was a stage IVcancer I believe. I was totally shattered and could not digest the fact.

Her further treatment was to take place after her marriage. I had also to leave after that with my husband. My sister Sharmila and brother Prashant was there to take care of her then. They had to take her for chemos and radiation therapies on and off and she got cured in a years time and started doing her normal chores slowly due to her weak health condition. Everyone was happy that she had become physically fit as doctors had declared her fit. But in May 1996 she got brain tumour which had metastatised from the breast and that being secondary cancer took a toll on her life. Her walk and lower part of the body got affected because of that. She was admitted in mid May and was there till her death on July 15, 1996. I was thinking why she what sin she had committed to deserve this? She had only sacrificed herself for the sake of her four children. Let Good Lord give her peace and rest wherever she is.

Even now I feel she is guiding me in all that I do.

We miss her a lot though today even after almost 15 years of her passing away.
Love you Mother